Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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