you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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