saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
