no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My penis needs a shock collar
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