420 ftw
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
id be glad to
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
