i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
