how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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