I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
