Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
