i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
