why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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