I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
