so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
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There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize