Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
