My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize