All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
