? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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