I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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