He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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