He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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