The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
