i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
