Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
