Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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