Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
