Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Blood and glitter go together right?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize