You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just cropdusted the office
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize