i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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