The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
