sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Farmville is her only friend.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
