just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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