I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
