i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
