Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
