you guys were way drunker than both of me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
