The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
