Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
