just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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