My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
