I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
