If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize