I wish i was in the wii world.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
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He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i out mim tonsoeep
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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