butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
