i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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