Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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