butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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