all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I need water and some morals
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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