Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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