I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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