5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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