So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
