I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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