I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
