I am in a vortex of obligation.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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