Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
