Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
