he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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