so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I forget how to act sober
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
