all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
