just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize