Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
